tml raelo's coming down to study w me at church. well, she registered fer this jean danker stress buster thingie, where she'd come down to those who are studying in grps and give them a stress buster kit. today may be studying alone -sigh- cos rebecca is stressed out or sth. really missing e fun crazy times.
[e closness we had
e openess we shared.]

xiang yao zheng fu de shi jie
shi zhong dou mei you gai bian
na di shang wu shen zheng fa wo de lei
hei an zhong qi dai guang xian
shen ming you yi zhong jue dui
deng dai wo qing deng dai wo
kao jing wo zai yong bao wo
bu yao zou qing bu yao zou
zhi dao yue ding rong hua cheng xiao yan
zhi dao wo kan jian shen ming de jue dui

3 days. 23 days.

fOund this at wendy's [a friend frm church] blog.
so.. im..

B You are always cautious when it comes to
meeting new people.
E You are a very exciting person.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
A You can be very quiet when you have
something on your mind.

[hmm. its rather subjective eh. but.. actually. they are all rather true. but my name actually means 'blessed'. its a variant from 'benedict'. e male version is benito, ala benito mussolini. so im a tyrant. =D]

Here goes.. e whole list.
A You can be very quiet when you have
something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to
meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you,
dont be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgemental.
I You are always smiling and making others
smile.
J Jealousy.
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to
people's standards.
V You have a very good physical and looks.
W You like your privacy .
X You never let people tell you what to do .
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone

salty food gives me a headache. studying at church is very produktive..its so conducive! i really have feelings for tt place- e whole church, tt is. e pple.. e classrooms.. memories. sigh. ok, im rambling. better stop, going bak to muggerworld.

-Hello my friend we meet again
It's been a while where should
we begin feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
I remember

When you are with me
I'm free I'm careless I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around in
an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me
I'm free I'm careless I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again-

[5 days. just 5.
22 days. just 22.]

weather's baaaad. woke up w a headache n a bad throat n a cough yest. durians last nite, sicker today. its raining w e sun brightly shining. gross. going down 2 church 2 study, will b doing so everyday this wk i guess.
[O's in 7 days exactly.
- 25 days to freedom -]

so who is this mysterious person ive been talking about? haha, actually its really nothing. its somebody from my sch. my godbro in sch. talk's been goin ard tt im trying to b zee third partee, so things got bad. anyway, i wont talk about it anymore cos shi guo jing qian le. argh, hate to quarrel with friends, really. sounded so emotional huh. looking back at my previous posts, i sounded damn pathetic! haha.. ok. very tired. forgot tt i had remedial classes today..went church to study w rose and lynette, then played bball w dom,alex and nat at ngee ann. cannot make it ah, play awhile only then felt like dying. some guy i tink his name is ronald, joined us and sub alex. wah, he's quite good sia. played in sandals, my tendons hurt now. lousy!

sch was sian. last day of sch. for me. anyway, today had some fun at least. peifen ingmui jac and i went over to camp 2 to look for surin. den at e canteen, peifen went to warn a sec1 girl not to talk rubbish. long story,but its none of my nor your business. ha. then this peter tan, a loser teacher, well known as a pervert who stares at girl's chests and smokes kaypoed. he looks like a chao freak man. anyway, peifen said 'kaypo' and he asked if she was aiming that at him. she said 'no' and we walked off. he started following her!!! omigosh it was damn hilarious, he blocking her wherever she tried to walk. e whole canteen was staring, and a few boys followed e show all e way back to camp1. so did tt ass. peifen shouted molest! in the quadrangle and everyone was like staring. hahaha den at their classroom, f**ker foo was standing outside, den she was like telling tt ass her name and he said tt she scolded vulgarities at him when she dint. who ask him to kaypo sia, none of his business man. den peifen said tt he wanted to molest her, and he went 'look at your face; you think i want ah?' wah. den mingkun, my 'ahpa' in sch, said 'u go geylang, the prostitute one hour $40 dollars only. u ask them they see ur face oso dowan ah!' e look on his face: PRICELESS. wah lau, e whole of 4/6 [her class] was whooping man. so were we, laughing our asses off. he went in the class and there was some talking. peifen said sorry i tink den he walked off. we were laughing our asses off man. tt guy looks like a pervert himself. really. walks with a hunch,trying to walk like an ahbeng. loser. went to rjc open house with joyce tan

board..... says:
but something lidats lor. she say tt she cant really study w u cos u all will end up t.a.l.k.i.n.g
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
wah lao!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
so bad!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
u wun tok lah!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
ok lor!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
byby!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
so, u're soft spoken....ah-hah! new deskah-veri
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
??
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
new deska-veri?
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
wat lah
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
siao.......maybe she feels tt i hav more self-control than U!
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
hahaha
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
sorrie.
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
best friend
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
=S
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
it was a typ0
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
nvm itz ok...im so sad.
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
back off.
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
im cutting!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
haahahha
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
so drammaaa
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
cutting wat?
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
ur vessels?
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
moiself!
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
OH. wat's there to cut??
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
dun cut e front
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
there's not enough to go abt
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
:D
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
wahahahaha
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
hey.
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
earth to raelo.
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
i hate chiew!
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
bart i love chiew man
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
i love chiewing on yer heyd
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
hah!
*FrAt.ParTee.@.dA.PaNKakE.FeZzz +.rhA-ChiZ. says:
dun act parnie hor!
i wanta eat but it got too over board..... says:
eh? im feeling cranky

--rare online msging. hah im bad eh? thing is its really fun suaning pple now and then, but its quite easy to start getting overboard eh. everyone commits this same mistake which thus connects with sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit. little by little, slowly alot. tml's getting report book. im 10th in class! FIRST TIME IN MY NAN HUA LIFE MAN. tml goin to rjc open house, check out my bro cheerleading, becoming a dudette fer once. ha. goin alone cos i guess no one frm my class is even contemplating goin there, and i dont wanna go with the muggers in trip sci. im antisocial, too bad. think he's kinda stressed out by stuff i donno wat. anyway. i've decided! im gonna get a move on, get a mind of my own. im gonna show tt im better off without him, and tt he will regret what he's done in time to come man. studies will come first now. y ruin my future man. i rock more.

some stupid stuff ive written. they say what i feel. but i may regret it in time to come.

karaoke-ed at rong's house yest. actually no voice from sunday liao, den now strain again. hais. sound really weird on e mic. anyway been farting lotsa and they stink the house down man! ha. tink ate too many beans liao. sneaked out from sch after sec3's recess. lim yew hock the useless "operations manager" was downstairs. but when his back was turned, talking to the canteen uncle, i ran as fast as i could and before he could say "laksa" [k not funny], i was outta dere! free!! he wont know what hit him man. got super adrenaline rush, felt super. reached home at ard 12.30pm watched tv. die, today's kinda unproducktive but i tink i can only study at night. feeling kinda drowsy now. guess when im with friends then i feel better cos i can keep my mind off everything.

[29days to freedom]

everytime i think of all the good times that we had
i cant believe that things could all turn out this bad
it hurts alot inside when i realised that u lied
about all the promises u made that u'd be there u said
im broken in pieces ive fired shots and all i got was misses
ive failed once more ive closed another door
i have few trusted friends as it is already now ive lost one more and
its driving me crazy i put my all in this friendship
which i thought was so beautiful and i so dearly keep
but i guess im just a fool to be still clinging on to the hope that you
will recover the friendship we once had between us
or is this all just a lie im living
inwardly ure lauging at all that ive been giving
cos to you im nothing but you are part of my everything
so ive lost again and im tired
you know it very well and now ure no different
from those you said were unworthy
no one can understand how much im hurting
i cant cry and my heart is bleeding
i cant see no colour in life
i cant feel anything
i cant smile
i cant

Not goin thailand liaos. mom said dun go last nite. v pissed cos she agreed initially. i dint want go at first too, but since eun asked, mom agreed, den ok lor. but i got so excited abt it, and now cant. sucks man. goin next june i guess. am in sch now. 11 out of 36 pple came today. we're like doin nothing lor?? last nite very angry w everyone, everything. mom said go sch, listed damn lot of big excuses. this morning, i woke up late. then she said i woke up late on purpose, might as well dun go school. wth man. i was soooooooooo pissed, i just left the house. she said tt its no use trying to war against her. here i am. highly irritable person. dun get on e wrong side of me for now.

get out
who cares about the right when the wrong just seems so bright you said you do when you dont you said you will when you wont all you think is about yourself so now you listen well you betrayed my trust humiliate me you just must see me cry watch me fall pleading for you to forgive my all who do you think you are perfect please go and think in retrospect thought that you understood when not everyone else could seems like you dont actually im just no one really just a tool in your game and fool has been my name so i just have to take the blame for what im in now

can you get out of my head get out of my mind get on with my life leave you far behind ive put my trust in lies kept myself in a vice you took it broke it stole it shattered it you threw the pieces into space you did it right in my face

few tears i may have shed but i dont know how much my heart has bled it hurts so much inside there i dont know how much i can longer bear to know that the person whom i trusted the most was not what i saw was just a ghost of the past so real yet wasnt there in space i loved you in a way i couldnt measure the way i love the people i really treasure i only can stare replaying all the memories which was once so sweet yet slowly they start to seem like weed cant get rid of them no matter how much i try

[211003 copyright benitalim.]

got overly poignant today. wont go into tt. glad e others all dint come sch. no mood to talk 2 them. after lunch w X2D, went to get my passport alone. some loser fat auntie lugging a hyperactive 5 year old girl and a baby cut my queue. seems like im not as fat as my bro makes me out to be. literally pushed me aside when i stepped forward to get my queue no. tsk-ed v loudly, but her stupid qns were louder than mine. heck she made a bloody fool of herself, with her hyperdaughter climbing onto e counter, butt full view in my face. the auntie nv bothered to stop and think how her daughter's stinking soiled pampers would disgust the shit out of me. how i wished she fell flat on her face man. sorry but i aint caring. my turn, e receptionist was like "oh so you r not with her?" when i rolled my eyes as the auntie walked away, announcing her departure("ger ah, zou leh!"). ugly singaporean. i said a flat "NO. she cut my queue!". was rather miffed tt she associated me with tt unrefined woman. do i give the impression tt i come from her? tt may explain abit abt e fat part i guess. queue no.:38. tt woman shouldve gotten tt man. got my passport after a 30 min wait. studied abit of bio, tml's practical exam. better go and read up more.

got 18 pts, nt 20. duno whether wanna go for 3 mth course or not. mayb just get a job and crash. no mood to think. will b the living dead till everything is solved.

saw my link to dom's blog. guess more pple will b reading my once virtually unknown blog now. wont b adding anything much to it for now. i wont b the same old me for now. hurts. like never before. those who read, just read. dont ask.

cant seem to study. tot tt i could fall bak on studying instead of letting this weigh down on me. sick of trying
to figure out wat's goin on. scared of prospect of
realising tt e cause of everything is solely because
of the so wrong, so convoluted thinking on e other
party. when things get well, they will never be as aureate as before i guess. my heart hurts at the thought of losing someone i really treasure. but i guess, its again
stupidity on my part. again i have put my all, yet my
faith has been betrayed. but i know deep down tt i haf already forgiven you. i was never really angry, just hurt real bad.

[i have never had more than utmost respect, pure admiration and the word "like", as a platonic friend
for you. and i really feel comfortable in ur company.
that's all. period. i hope that u dint get e wrong idea. i
will never ever betray her, you, nor myself.]

dun b surprised if i used f-words..i dont try to hide e fact tt i do use them, but i've not sworn for e past few weeks. i swear. this html tingie sucks man. tot tt i could see e template nicely done up, but hell, onli I can see e full template. others cant. this is getting on my nerves. anyway today was boring. i just wanna be left alone nowadays. e sunshine in my life has been covered by clouds. e definition of fun in my life is kinda diminished.. i dont see any need, any thirst for fun. being with me myself and i has never been so peaceful. dont talk to me, i wont talk. no need. tml's science practical and i dont feel excited nor scared. e onli qualm is tt i can onli leave 4 hrs after e bloody paper.
[no life.]

rather stoned, lifeless. though im goin thailand, i may not b able to go for all e meetings. still sianed by everything. hope everything will b ok again by friday. so hope. arghhhhh. discipline to study is gone again! shit prelims lah. make me feel as if everything is over, dun feel lyk doin anymore studying. but just drafted a timetable. better stick to it. zonkboard's gone. shit it. aching all over, still played bball w e guys for pe today. aching worse now. i cant even walk properly! raelo sprained her ankle, hadta support her wherever she went. haha, looked like some old ladies parading. nvm.
[-missing e fun times we had..]

21 days to Os.
42 days to FREEDOM.

L1R5 : 20. first time i got anything below 30. yay. english disappointed, so did lit. B3 each. Chinese A1. Bio B3. Emaths C6, failed initially but passed after moderation. Comb Sci B4. Comb humans B4 (tt's a FIRST!) So total: 20. phew. but i dowan go 3 mth course, wanna go work. $$. thailand, thailand, thailand. waited till midnite to sms ming happy bday on e dot. shook hand. :) friendship's bak. been having freaking headaches, stomachaches, heartaches, noseaches. might as well go and die eh. take me dear Lord. take me.

so. its getting ard..more pple are noticing it eh. ha. nth to add, but now, its just in limbo. i cant do anything abt it. its no use. but it really hurts when i e person whom i respect and admire the most sees me as... dirt? personal attacks on my character flaw cuts me heart like a knife. ;[

hahaha.. im REALLY v HapPy. mAde myself so mang zanged when i did this last week. it aint tt complicated la! aRghh. heh. goin for yf soon.. mom and bennie's not home yet. i wonder y.

30 days to O levels.
48 days to FREEDOM.

i JusT Put a Nu. TemPlaTE!!!! wOot!! finally. :D

*Welcome to mY teStimonY. REad it aNd WEEP. *
Benita is a talented girl in many areas and has represented the school in many competitions of different areas- Sports, Arts and Drama. She took part in the school's Aladdin play which was performed at the World Trade Centre in 2000, playing the role of the Princess's handmaid, Palaver.

In 2001's Odyssey of the Mind inter-school competition, she came in 1st runner-up with the participating team in the Drama category. 2001 also saw the school taking part for the first time in Julia Gabriel's Inter-School Debating Championships, and Benita was part of the team which represented the school. She has won Best Debater before in the competition. Benita has also represented the school in the Inter-school Table Tennis Competition (West zone) from 2001-2003.

A fiercely loyal and dedicated member of the school's Symphonic Band since sec1, Benita has earned the position of 3rd Sergeant and a Section Leader of the percussion section. She has played vital roles in assisting the Band to attaining Silver awards for the SYF Band Central Judging Competition in both 2001 and 2003, and was given a Service Award for her efforts and contributions to the Band.


Benita has been the Sports Captain for her class in 2000, 2001 and 2003. An active participant in sports meets, cross-country and inter-class games, she was part of the winning 'C' Div Girls Champion Class in 2000 and has won many medals from the individual and team events she has participated in. Benita is an active contributor in class discussions and excels in English Language and Literature, and has much potential and shows alot of promise. She has an intelligent mind and communicates well with others as an outgoing and sociable person.

[SENTOSA STARTS HERE]

http://f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/uaremiefayth/lst?&.dir=/[[.pixxs+gallarie.]]&.src=ph&.begin=33&.view=t&.order=&.done=http%3a//f2.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/uaremiefayth/lst%3f%26.dir=/[[.pixxs%2bgallarie.]]%26.src=ph%26.view=t

SentOsa on Tues wAs S.h.I.O.k Man! gOt a tan.. but. since i wore a racerback down, my tan is a racerback tan. no more bikini tan. arGhh. =s but it hurteth now! even zee bra strap's abrasions on my skin makes me squirm. bleah. After sentosa, me raelo an' joyceT went down to town. was freaking hungry, ate KFC chicken. yum- then we went to take neoprints@heeren. stoo-rood raelo and me press wrong e ting, e decor part finished. argh. forgot 2 collect $, so culdnt buy raelo's cd. took fotos, fotos, fotos w joyce's digicam. we gei "joyce im gonna missya for 1 yr" when pple walked past, staring at us. ha! had a GREAT time tho! got back prelims.. Bio: 65/100. B3! first time i got a B3 for a BIG Bio exam. Science sucks,, onli got bak pathetic paper 1 scores so far, both just passed. pui. social studies khoo hinted to me tt i dint fail,neither did i do exceptionally well. to me, PASS CAN LiaO! yeah man. english paper 2, got 37/50 ... sOfy oso. both of us highest i guess =) but my compo is..disastrous? i dont remember feeling v good abt it. anyway so far...so good.. still confused if i wanna go jc/poly, 3mths course/work. i need $$$$$ lah. ng-ing isnt doin v well. see 608, still going to boatquay 1 mth before Os. still say tt study first then go. in e end? they dint fare their usual grades tho. nothing to say.